Adventures in Obtaining a Gluten-Free Wedding Cake

Disclaimer: I started writing this weeks before the wedding and never finished it...oops :/


The title of this blog sort of says it all. We just found our wedding cake this last Saturday. Exactly two weeks prior to our wedding date. According to those checklists you can find online, we should have had our cake when we were 6 months out. I excused myself for being late on a lot of things because our engagement was just over 6 months long, so of course I would miss some deadlines.

I figured I'd write about it in hopes that I could help someone else who goes on the same adventure.

Early on in the planning, I discovered that there are no dedicated gluten-free bakeries in town. I was fairly certain I knew this already, but double checking was important too. There were a few bakeries that I discovered that claimed to do gluten-free wedding cakes, but I was warned against trusting them from individuals who had gotten sick from their products because they were cross contaminated.

About 20 miles from me, there is a gluten-free company that recently started making cupcakes. They have a dedicated gluten-free facility too. When I was down there on business, I decided to check with the owner to see if she could do a wedding cake. She said she would be able to bake a cake, but she doesn't decorate. Another option would be to just use her cupcakes.

At this point, I needed to find a cake decorator, or at the very least, we would at least have cupcakes. A back-up plan was definitely not a bad thing.

After I realized I had a back-up option, I moved on to other wedding tasks which was probably my biggest mistake. This was months ago.

Fast forward to a little over a month ago. I was traveling for work to various gluten-free events. I got the idea in my head that I would use one of my favorite mixes and make cupcakes myself. This way I could make them gluten/dairy/soy/nut free because I was fairly certain my back-up plan cupcakes definitely contained soy and may or may not have contained dairy. My friends told me I was crazy. My fiance just kind of smiled and nodded because he knew if I set my mind to it, I would do it no matter what he said.

I thought my plan was genius. I would bake them ahead of time and freeze them. If I didn't have them ready at least two weeks in advance, then I would go with my back-up plan.

The next week, I was at an event a little over two hours away. I met an employee from a bakery who stopped at my table, so I asked if they did wedding cakes. The answer was yes! He said they had never delivered so far away before, but he could possibly make a day trip with his daughter to visit my city and delivery the cake. He gave me their phone number and instructed me to call on Monday. When I called on Monday, I was told that they were already essentially fully booked for the weekend of my wedding, and my only option would be to pick up the cake myself, but they didn't want us to say where we got it because they didn't think a cake could make it so far in the June heat.

I felt defeated, but I decided to attempt calling another dedicated bakery which was about an hour away. They immediately said they were 100% booked on our date.  Crap. Crap. Crap. I suddenly didn't feel like making our own cupcakes anymore, and I was out of options.

I forced myself to move on, and decided I would buy the flour I needed at the next vendor fair I was attending three weeks before the wedding. I got really sick in the middle of the night before the next vendor fair. I forced myself to get up, but I was sure I was going to pass out or vomit, and I almost turned around when I had hardly made it out of town early in the morning to arrive in time to set up. I slowly got a little better, and eventually made it there. I walked around a little after I had set up my table, but then I decided I was better off taking it easy, so I went and bought 6 boxes of flour and went back to my table.

As I sat waiting for the event to start, I noticed there was a bakery across the room. It seemed wrong not to at least try, so I walked over and asked if they did wedding cakes. The answer was yes. I then asked if they could do gluten/dairy/soy/nut free. That answer was also yes. I asked if they were available on my date. Yes again. She gave me her card, and I was instructed to e-mail on Monday. She was located another 45 minutes away in addition to the hour I had already traveled to the event, but it was still an option.

The website showed great looking cakes. They definitely weren't up to the caliber of what I was used to seeing, but I knew if I kept it somewhat simple, then it was going to look amazing. I also worried about what it tasted like because I hadn't been able to try anything. We wound up setting up a tasting because we didn't want to blindly order a cake--especially because the price seemed incredibly inexpensive.

There were a total of four of us that traveled to the tasting although a friend lived nearby so she met myself, my fiance, and his son there. The bakery was based out of the womans home although she did much of the baking in her church because their church kitchen was not used for anything. She had prepared a bowl of buttercream frosting, a bowl of bavarian cream, a chocolate cake, and a vanilla cake. Everything was excellent, and we finished off both cakes and far too much frosting and filling which we simply spooned onto our plates and ate with a spoon. We were sold, and we finally had our cake. The best part was that it was much better than most wedding cakes I've had in my pre-gluten-free days.

Delivery would cost a little over $100, but she was also transporting it about 75 miles, so it was 150 round trip. She agreed to delivery at precisely the time the set-up for our reception would happen even though we offered to let her deliver it earlier in the day and let the staff bring it out. She wanted to ensure it didn't need to be moved and that it would look perfect, so she insisted on coming when it wouldn't need to be touched.

**Update: The cake looked and tasted amazing. She brought along each of the 4 individual tiers of the cake and put it together and did the swirl decorating right on site. Most of our guests had no idea it was gluten-free, and everyone said the cake was amazing. The only thing I would have done differently would have been to add one additional tier as the cake went quickly, and many people wanted seconds and didn't get them. I would have gladly paid extra for everyone to have had seconds had I known that was going to happen.

Have you or anyone you know ever needed to find a gluten-free wedding cake? What was your experience?

Gluten in the News: Disney's Jessie

Disney messed up. They messed up big time in my opinion. At this point, this story is old news, but if you haven't heard, Disney airs a show called Jessie where they included a few scenes of a child who was on a gluten-free diet being bullied. There has been outrage from both sides. The parents of children with Celiac Disease are outraged that Disney would condone bullying of someone who essentially has a food allergy, and those unfamiliar with the gluten-free diet say that parents are being to thin skinned, and it was just a joke.

I get jokes. I like jokes. I understand when jokes are appropriate. I've been searching my brain for the best example that would help those unfamiliar with the gluten-free diet understand why people are upset. What I came up with would be a paraplegic child in a wheelchair who does not have use of their legs. It's not the perfect example, but it makes sense to me.

In my metaphor, the legs are the reaction to gluten, and the wheelchair is the gluten-free diet. There were two scenes that I saw where the child was being teased. First some background on the show from someone who has seen only a few episodes (not by choice) and done minimal research about the show. The show revolves around Jessie who is a young adult who moved from Texas to New York to pursue her dream of being a singer. She somehow ended up being a nanny for four very well-to-do children (some are adopted). The parents are rarely present, so she is their main care-taker as far as I understand. They live in what seemed to me to be a hotel, but it may have been an apartment building.

In the first scene, there is another child named Stuart who was there to eat breakfast. When their butler offers him the pancakes, he asks if they are gluten-free. The butler responds with a snide response (I think he said "They're glue-free, isn't that close enough?") which everyone laughs at. Jessie explains that Stuart has a few minor dietary requirements, and the list is five pages long.

In the second scene, one of the children throws pancakes at Stuart, so he yells out "aaaaah! Gluten!" Of course everyone laughs.

Back to my metaphor. How would people respond if Stuart were in a wheelchair and he needed to use that wheelchair to get someplace that was not wheelchair accessible and all of the children laughed at him? How would people respond if later on, those same children dumped Stuart out of his wheelchair and everyone laughed? Not the same thing? I think it is.

In the first scene, the children laugh at him because he can't do what they are doing--eating pancakes. He cannot eat pancakes because he will likely suffer from horrible gastrointestinal distress. It's unknown if he actually has Celiac Disease, but it is my opinion that those who have Celiac Disease do not have the choice as to whether or not they will eat gluten. They simply can't do it just like someone in a wheelchair cannot walk. I'll admit that is where my metaphor is the most imperfect, but I'm sure you're following what I mean by it. Bottom line: the children laughed at him because he is different and has a condition that cannot be changed by choice, nor did he choose that condition

In the second scene, they throw pancakes at him. I'm fully aware that in most cases, gluten needs to be ingested to cause a reaction....but....how easy would it be to get crumbs from the pancake in your mouth as they are throwing them at your face? Also, some people do have skin reactions although I'm unfamiliar as to how exactly it works as I do not have topical reactions. The example of someone throwing peanuts at someone with a peanut allergy has been used multiple times, but the issue with that is many people still don't understand the severity of a peanut allergy. Hence my wheelchair example. Would the writers from that show have ever even considered writing a scene where the children dump a child out of a wheelchair?

I really hope not.

I'm really glad Disney chose to pull the episode before it actually aired. From what I read, they generally put new episodes on Video On Demand the week before the show is set to air on the Disney Channel. A mother of two children with Celiac Disease, Amy Raslevich, started a petition at Change.org after her children viewed the episode and became very upset. It is unknown if it was specifically the petition or the reaction overall that caused the show to be pulled, but they pulled it, choosing to air a re-run in it's place.

I don't know that I would be having the same reaction if this were a show centered around adult. I personally think we have a large enough bullying problem, that we don't need kids channels showing children that it's ok and funny to bully someone. Disagree with me if you choose, I firmly believe this is bullying rather than simple teasing.

It proves how self-centered people are if I'm right, but I'm hoping that some of the reaction from the other side of this issue stems from people being upset that they didn't get to see a new episode of their favorite show when they were expecting to see one. Now, rather than learning something positive about the gluten-free diet, they are condemning all those that are on it because they lost something so incredibly important as a new episode of a show because all of us gluten-free folks are being ridiculously insensitive (please note my sarcasm).

I love that the gluten-free community is so strong that we are able to right some wrongs when we come together (as in the show was pulled). I hope that something good comes out of this, but I'm not quite sure what that is yet. My fear is that this situation has further divided the gluten-free community from everyone else due to additional misinformation being spread.

If you would like to read more about this than my opinions, here are some links:

Gluten Dude (includes video of the two scenes)
http://glutendude.com/media/disney-thinks-bullying-a-gluten-free-child-is-funny/

CBS News:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-204_162-57585388/disney-pulls-jessie-episode-that-makes-fun-of-gluten-free-child/

Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/20/disney-pulls-jessie-episode-about-gluten-allergies_n_3307231.html?ir=Parents

Google is your friend if you want additional info and don't like these news sources. I apologize I did not have time to find better ones.

And just so you have an idea of why this is such a two-sided issue, here are two comments found on an article about this topic:

• Seriously, are we so PC now we can’t even make an effing joke about gluten intolerance on a Dinsey channel show? This is unbelievable. People need to lighten up, for chrissakes. It’s a JOKE. Who cares?!

  Comment by Jack Tor s
• Jack Tor, I would think the kid who is gluten intolerant or celiac and feels belittled and marginalized would care.

  
  

  One more thing. This isn't something that has never happened with Disney before. I don't have a lot of details, but there was supposed to be an episode of Hannah Montana where a diabetic child was being made fun of for not being able to consume sugar. The exact same thing happened with the show being pulled before it actually aired. In that situation, they reshot some of the scenes and changed the title of the show because it specifically referred to "sugar."

When Life Gets Away From You

Eight days ago, I said I was going to do a post a day for Celiac Awareness Month. Yeah... that didn't happen.

In my own defense, and what I will use as my very weak excuse is that I'm getting married in a month. Yay!!! Exactly one month from today, I will be walking down the aisle towards the man I will be spending the rest of my gluten-free life with. The thought of that causes an indescribable feeling of happiness. 

So I guess today I will talk about wedding planning. I'm a very relaxed bride compared to what I've seen, but I've also questioned the whole time if I'm too relaxed. With one month to go, we haven't "actually" signed the contract for our reception venue (we know we have it either way, but it's a minor detail we should probably get out of the way), we have someone who can do cupcakes for us but we have no cake, we haven't done our food tasting, our dj doesn't have our list of songs yet, we haven't chosen our flowers, we haven't rented a limo (we want a trolley), etc, etc, etc.

I'll admit I've been frustrated a few times that things aren't taken care of, but ultimately, I figure we have each other (you need someone to marry if you're getting married), we have the church and a pastor, we have the reception venue (even though it's not legal), and we know our caterer can do gluten-free food and a flourless chocolate cake if worst came to worst. Beyond that, everything else is just details, and its unlikely anyone would really notice if anything wasn't completely perfect. 

This blog is about gluten-free food, so I'll talk about that for a moment. I was amazed at how easy it was to find a caterer that was able to accommodate a gluten-free event, and I was also amazed at how incredibly hard it has been to find an actual gluten-free wedding cake. 

Every single caterer I spoke with didn't even flinch when I said that I needed the entire event to be gluten-free. Most of them simply eliminated the possibility of pasta, subbed in cornstarch where flour would normally be used, and skipped rolls as part of the meal. I think they actually appreciated that we wanted the entire event to be gluten-free because then they know that there is no chance they'll cross contaminate something with something else on our menu. 

When it comes to the tasting, we are 99% certain we know what we want, but the tasting is included as part of our cost so I told my fiance we are doing it. He had no problem with getting a "free" meal. Now we just need to find the time to do it. 

As for the cake--that is a whole other story, and it's been incredibly frustrating. There are a few local bakeries that do gluten-free items including cakes, but every single one of them is a shared facility. Each one of them seems to have a major cross contamination problem which makes me angry that they're offering items in the first place. I believe they should be incredibly up front that their items are cross contaminated, but they all simply have it in the fine print. How terrible would it be to get glutened on your wedding day?

I started branching out to bakeries that were further away, but I quickly discovered that they aren't able to do it because it's unlikely a cake would travel two hours in June without "melting." I have one more option, but as far as I know, it's essentially a flourless chocolate cake. My caterer can do a flourless chocolate cake, and we really want an actual cake to cut. I have a back-up bakery that is only about 30 miles away that is happy to do cupcakes, but the frosting wouldn't be super fancy. She said she could also do a cake, but she definitely can't decorate a wedding cake--she could only bake it. 

I tossed out the idea of myself making the cupcakes and attempt a cake a few weeks ahead of time and then freezing them, but everyone is saying I'm crazy. I figure we have a large chest freezer that is essentially empty right now, and I have a few recipes that freeze well, so why not? My friends and my fiance all still say I'm crazy. I'm not convinced ;)

So that's where I'm at. I have one month to pull this wedding together, so no promises on a post a day, but I promise to try. 

The good news is that I am still... Alive Without Gluten ;)

Receiving Gifts of Food

Pre-diagnosis, I used to love it when people gave me food. Everyone loves free food, right? Wrong. Now I fear it.

Case in point: About a week before Easter, we discovered a box on our front step that said "Perishable." Instead of jumping for joy that we got free food, I froze. It's not like packaged food will hurt me if there is gluten in it, but there is so much more than not being able to eat the food itself. How do I thank someone for their good intentions without hurting their feelings. Do I thank them and lie when I say I'm looking forward to eating it? AUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!

That's how I feel. It probably seems silly to most, but I'm sure others with food allergies understand.

We discovered the box was from my fiance's parents. Oh goody! I potentially get to offend my future in-laws. That sounds like a great time, and I'm totally looking forward to doing something that they will potentially remember about me FOREVER.

Ok, yes, I'm being slightly dramatic, but seriously! Who wants to tick off their in-laws before they're even in-laws.

My fiance didn't have any interest in opening the box (probably because he knew he would probably be told we couldn't eat it anyway). I opened it with slight trepidation. Would I be pleasantly surprised or would I be figuring out who I could regift this to?

There was a note inside from his step-mom explaining that she had heard about this company on the news and noticed they were talking about allergies and gluten-free. The food itself was 3 chocolate Easter bunnies and 2 bags of jelly beans. I had to look it up on the internet to determine if it was in fact "safe" for me or not because the packages didn't say anything about gluten-free on them.

End result: pleasantly surprised.

I love when people "get" it. I fear the day when a family member of his bakes me "gluten-free" cookies and I have to politely turn them down without forever offending them. "But they were made from a gluten-free mix, and I mixed them in the same bowl that I used for all my gluteny stuff, and they were baked on the same pan as my gluteny cookies--how could that possibly get you sick," they will say. Ok, that's not what they will say, but that's what I will be imagining them saying.

So to those of you who have good intentions in giving people with allergies food, I have some advice for you:

1. Make sure you know EXACTLY what you are doing, and don't be offended if they still aren't comfortable eating it.

2. Don't try at all unless you're willing to do it right.

3. Ask the individual for help/advice and/or see if they would like to cook/bake with you (preferably in their kitchen). I would much rather spend a day with someone in my safe kitchen baking all kinds of goodies than question if they were able to avoid cross contamination every step of the way in their kitchen.

How do you handle gifts of food?

Celiac Disease Awareness Month

I've never been a huge fan of specific times to recognize things because I feel you should recognize them year-round. Celiac Awareness Month is a little bit different in my mind simply because it is a newer "condition" that isn't very well known.

My goal will be to write one post per day in honor of Celiac Awareness Month. How do you plan to spread awareness, and what have you done in the past?

Positivity

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always 100% positive about the gluten-free diet, but I would say I manage it about 99% of the time. I have a million other posts planned, but I had to get this written right now.

I spent today at the Gluten and Allergen Free Expo in Schaumburg, IL, so that might be why I'm running on a gluten-high. I'm currently back at my hotel room. I'm watching tv, eating leftover PF Chang, and reading Facebook posts.

The reason for my post is this: I saw a recipe for something I can't even remember at this point. It was one of those recipes that you think, "Wow, that looks good. I need to try that." I continued scrolling through, and it dawned on me that my friend who posted it is on a GF diet, but it was linked from a website that is not GF. I immediately went into conversion mode, decided I could definitely convert the recipe, and then I moved on.

It was a little while later when the true impact of what had happened dawned on me. I spoke with people all day long that were super happy to be trying a wide variety of gluten-free products, but who continually complained about how hard the diet is. Am I at the point where I take my knowledge for granted? How is it that so many other people think the diet is so incredibly hard when there are others who struggle even after doing it longer than myself?

I guess that's why I feel Alive Without Gluten. I'm going to ponder on that and work on ways to help others through my posts because I'd prefer everyone requiring a gluten-free diet also feels Alive Without Gluten. There's no reason everyone can't feel this way ;)

Progress After Diagnosis

It only took me a few days to notice a difference in how I felt. This was incredibly exciting because I had thought for sure I was dying. After a few weeks, I felt like a whole new person. I look back at pictures of myself, and I'm shocked at how I looked. No wonder people thought I definitely had to be anorexic or bulimic. I definitely looked the part. 

Like I said before, I went the route of eliminating all food until I was 100% sure it was gluten-free. This didn't do a lot for variety in my diet, but it did help to ensure I didn't eat something I shouldn't by mistake. It also helped me to start gaining weight. 

My birthday was about a week after I changed my diet, and I immediately wished I had waited. I knew there were gluten-free cake mixes out there, but the last thing I wanted to do was take the time to bake a cake and have it taste disgusting. It wasn't unusual to skip cake on my birthday, but there was something about not having the option that depressed me. I hadn't researched eating out yet, so I was shocked when my boyfriends parents took us out for breakfast for my birthday and I had to come to the realization that eating out would not be easy. I don't know if my meal had been safe or not as it was too early for me to truly have a reaction, but I wouldn't be surprised if my food had been contaminated.

I immediately began doing some research when we got home from breakfast because my boyfriend wanted to take me out for dinner, and I wanted to make sure it was easier to order. I discovered higher end restaurants tend to be safer, so we went to a higher end restaurant that was still within his budget. I wound up getting a steak with no seasoning and a plain baked potato. It was good, but it was also something I could have easily made myself at home. 

He hadn't gotten me a gift yet, so he said we could go shopping after dinner and I could pick something out. After two disappointing experiences in dining out, I knew exactly what I wanted. We went to Kohls, and I picked out a new electric mixer and a food processor. It was time I learned to cook and bake, and these two items would help me to do that.

It would be another number of months before I really started to explore cooking, and years before I discovered how enjoyable I find my time in the kitchen to be. It was also months later before I attempted to eat out again. My boyfriend had no interest in going out to eat with me because he found my questions to be embarrassing. My next attempt after my birthday was with his mother, and it was excellent. I had found that most Outback Steakhouse locations did a very good job with accommodating those on a gluten-free diet. I later discovered that I had gotten lucky with an excellent waiter on my first trip to Outback, but that good experience gave me the courage to attempt eating out occasionally. I also learned the importance of rewarding good waitstaff and requesting them by name whenever I dine there. 

About a year after changing my diet, I went to a gluten-free vendor fair in Chicago. I met up with some people who frequented an online gluten-free forum, and for the first time I didn't feel quite as alone as I had before. For two days, I stuffed myself with excellent gluten-free food, learned a lot of great information from the speakers, and I got a bunch of great samples to bring home. 

About six months after changing my diet, it seemed like I was having symptoms again, but there was something different about it. At an appointment with my OB/GYN, I suddenly burst out crying for no reason when I was explaining some of my newer symptoms. He suggested I see a psychologist. I was somewhat shocked by the suggestion, but he explained that individuals can go through a grieving process after adopting a gluten-free diet because they've lost something important to them. He also said that my behavior was starting to border on agoraphobia, and the thought of being too afraid to ever leave my house was enough to get me to make an appointment that same day. 

In therapy, I discovered that my "relapse" wasn't actually caused by gluten. I had spent over 10 years of my life afraid to go places, especially if I didn't know where the restrooms were. Stress and anxiety were causing my diarrhea and stomachaches. I was so afraid of getting sick, that I was making myself sick. My psychologist was able to help me work through the grief and my fear of leaving my house.

So that was my first year. What was your first gluten-free year like?